Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
