I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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