chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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