I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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