shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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