fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
