my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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