a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
