There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
