Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize