so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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