I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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