They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and she was petting her beer can
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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