You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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