Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize