you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
