Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
