marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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