His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
