no. you can't hotbox the world.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
