Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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