Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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