Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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