I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize