i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize