Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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