walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize