we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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