We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
