I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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