dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize