She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize