Me. At least after what I've been through.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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