Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
