he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
