My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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