that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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