i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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