puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
