i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
