It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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