I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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