There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize