Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
