I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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