I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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