Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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  (606): the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night http://tfl.nu/1i7p
  Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (670)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Acid is not a monday night drug

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  (614): Acid is not a monday night drug http://tfl.nu/0lf0
  Replies (44) Good night (1717) Bad night (4172)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...

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  (540): I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant... http://tfl.nu/4jrj
  Replies (17) Good night (4004) Bad night (710)
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  (516): View more from New York

  everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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  (516): everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no. http://tfl.nu/bnsc
  Replies (85) Good night (4304) Bad night (1312)
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  (530): View more from California

  We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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  (530): We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers. http://tfl.nu/jnk6
  Replies (17) Good night (4317) Bad night (980)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months

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  (978): i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months http://tfl.nu/y63w
  Replies (20) Good night (4336) Bad night (1242)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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  (267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn
  Replies (13) Good night (4387) Bad night (838)
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  (518): View more from New York

  At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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  (518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (856)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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  (402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl
  Replies (8) Good night (1850) Bad night (610)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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  (647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6
  Replies (6) Good night (486) Bad night (925)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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  (248): I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home. http://tfl.nu/2kup
  Replies (1) Good night (1412) Bad night (454)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  This could be the definition of living by yourself

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  (281): No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower (1-281): This could be the definition of living by yourself http://tfl.nu/oh63
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (387)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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  (330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (435)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.

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  (256): No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you. http://tfl.nu/nxd6
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (200)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.

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  (585): The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt. http://tfl.nu/0ycz
  Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (198)

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