Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (2051)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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  (214): I wish you were here to vomit in your hand. http://tfl.nu/my7z
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (1960)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.

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  (+27): I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal. http://tfl.nu/i549
  Replies (98) Good night (1005) Bad night (4031)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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  (484): bad idea #53- masterbating while on period. http://tfl.nu/6cye
  Replies (80) Good night (918) Bad night (6976)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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  (614): Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child. http://tfl.nu/h3yl
  Replies (22) Good night (3562) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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  (443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1
  Replies (23) Good night (1382) Bad night (5562)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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  (617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf
  Replies (14) Good night (6244) Bad night (969)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

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  (845): I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ. http://tfl.nu/s7ef
  Replies (30) Good night (13783) Bad night (1315)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

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  (919): you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt. http://tfl.nu/2jv4
  Replies (10) Good night (6997) Bad night (1184)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.

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  (607): The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude. http://tfl.nu/ttzr
  Replies (8) Good night (1477) Bad night (731)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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  (828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv
  Replies (11) Good night (1119) Bad night (550)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

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  (775): My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case http://tfl.nu/owkn
  Replies (14) Good night (1710) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.

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  (724): Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though. http://tfl.nu/whvr
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.

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  (908): put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT. http://tfl.nu/yda3
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (272)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY

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  (904): UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY http://tfl.nu/1tru
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (229)

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