i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize