You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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