What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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