i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
