We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
