So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
