Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
