I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
