it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
