Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
as a side note pls kill me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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