I looked at my own cervix.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
