Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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