Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
