i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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