Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
