Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
