My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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