I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
